If I just lay here

I made a burn book once, when I was like seven.

Never was the goody-two-shoes sort of kid and I don’t think I ever will be.

Nice people just annoy me; that giddy-giddy smile plastered on their shiny plastic faces gives me the creeps. Not saying all nice people annoy me it’s just when they get past that point where niceness and generosity turns into a three-year old on crack is the point when I just want to pull all my hair out.

Now a perfect example of this is my father, (Hi dad, I love you) he’s the type of person that for some strange reason never gets mad, never looses his temper or patience and is just always so peaceful and calm, which is basically the complete opposite of myself.

I get mad very easily and I show it, I express how I feel and shout and curse and get all psycho when someone makes me mad or hurts someone I love.. So back to my dad, I never really understood how he could keep his composure and that sense of just complete ignorance over all the shit people in his life throw at him, it’s as if he never let’s anything get to him.

Then one night, I was talking to my mom, we came to the topic of my dad and I asked my mom how he stayed so chill about everything, ’cause like myself my mom is definitely not the cool and collected type. And she told me, my dad’s basic principle in life and when she did, I was struck so hard and it made me think:

What am I doing as a human being to bring peace into my own life?

My dad’s motto was plain and simple and spoke for itself.

Why will I be angry with someone who means nothing to me?

You see how that just hits you, like a snap, that click and pop. And suddenly your like, oh, right, why would I?

It’s such a simple concept yet to actually carry out something like this for me personally is just so difficult, I can’t imagine myself not being angry at someone who yes, may mean nothing to me but did so much to hurt me and broke me in so many ways imaginable, I mean how can you just not hate and despise someone who does those things to you? How can you just act like nothing happened and ignore it and not stand up for yourself and make that bitch realize that you aren’t the right person to mess with?

I don’t know how my dad does it. I don’t know how he can bare it. I applaud him, immensely because just from that simple question he has given me so much wisdom, knowledge and realization that life should not be wasted hating someone who means less than a pile of shit to you.

Why would you exert that much effort and waste that much time on proving your stand and making that person feel remorse if you know that you’re right and you know who you are?

My dad has taught me a lot about life but mostly he has taught me to live life to the fullest and to live it the best way possible and anger is not the path I wish to take anymore because that will lead me to nothing but darkness, now I choose rather, to go forth into the light.